Pipeline? I think not.

Having recently watched the Pipeline Masters DVD, I’ve realized something about surfing Pipe (or, more accurately, me surfing Pipe): it’s a crack smoker’s delusion. There is no way I’m paddling out there. The underwater shots of the reef alone are enough to keep me on the shore, but after watching guys like Rob Machado, Kelly Slater, et al talking about getting hit in the head by the lip, knocked out, being a foot from the surface but not being able to get up to it to breathe… No thank you. I’ll take 1-2′ Kewalo’s and be quite happy.

What spurred the purchase of the Pipeline Masters DVD? Funny you should ask. A couple of weeks ago, I drove out to Aina Haina for dawn patrol with Sing Sing and another friend (we’ll call him Seconds, because apparently this guy loves second reef Pipe - no, really). They were going to check a few spots first, so if I didn’t see them there, the plan was to call Seconds’ cell phone. Problem: I left his number at home. Whatever, I saw there were waves, so I stayed at Aina Haina and paddled out.

About 45 minutes into the session, the other guys in the lineup got kind of excited, and as one guy paddled back after a wave, he passed two old guys on huge longboards, paddling on their knees. Once he was in earshot, I heard him say “It’s him!” I said to the guy next to me, “Did I hear you say that was…” To which he replied, “Yeah brah, das Mistah Pipe-LINE!” And so it was that I had the privilege of seeing Gerry Lopez surf from about ten feet away.

To say that he was the best surfer in the water doesn’t really do it justice. He’s easily the most fluid, most graceful, most comfortable in the water, most everything surfer I’ve ever seen. Even more so than the pros at the Op Pro in Haleiwa last winter. And he’s 57. Let’s hear it for yoga and vegetarianism.

So anyway, my stoke is at all-time levels after that session, as you might imagine, especially since it was an accident that I was surfing there that morning. I told the story to my friend Leetle, who then casually dropped that she’s gone surfing with Lopez a number of times. (Cue sound of balloon popping, flying around room.) Then again, her husband was one of the first designers at Quiksilver back in the day, so I guess I should have expected it.

Still way stoked about surfing with Gerry Lopez in the water. Still not going out at Pipeline. Ever.